Monday, February 23, 2009

Nice Guys Don't Finish At All

People always want us to be more aggressive, more assertive, more proactive...

"Nice guys finish last."

"The early bird catches the worm."

"Only 303 more shopping days till Christmas."

I've never been good at it. As long as I think back, I'm so self-conscious about stepping on people's toes, pushing the wrong button, or upsetting the apple cart that I end up taking the path of least resistance and biding my time, assuming that in the end, my charm, looks, talent, and/or luck will win out.

It hasn't worked much in the last 29+ years, so I dont know why I'm so hesitant to change my approach. One of the things that I think comes from being an only child, is I never had to push anyone out of the way to get what I wanted. Either I did, or I didn't, but it wasn't because of a lack of effort. Now that goals and rewards are placed out in front of me with disturbing frequency, I assume that prizes should be given on merit and not on passion, which I believe are different and usually mutually exclusive.

But that doesn't seem to be the case much lately. People get rewarded for putting on a show, even if their results are misguided or wrong, and those of us who stay the course, are left off the medal stand, eating carryout Chinese on their own, and watching The Illusionist on HBO for the 9th time. (Still not as good as The Prestige...)


Blogger Belle said...

My $.02, for what it's worth?

I read something last night that made a helluva a lot of sense to me on the nice guy front.

It's not really that women want jerks. It's that we want guys who exudes strength and, perhaps, power. You can be a strong, powerful nice guy. But you have to show us you're strong.

1:34 PM  

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