Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Thoughts Triggered by Today's Car Radio Playlist

While sitting in I-66 traffic:

Mambo No. 5 - Lou Bega:

When I was in college, I went to one of those all-day festival concerts, put on by a local radio station. Lou and his band were one of the early acts. When he opened with his biggest (and only) hit, we were mildly surprised, but figured, "Hey give the people what they want." Needless to say, when he came back with the same song as song 3 in the set list, we were definitely confused. When the opening strains of Mambo No. 5 appeared as the FIFTH song in the set, the booing and anger forced him to leave the stage mid-tune. Maybe that's why we haven't heard from Lou since 1999.

Footloose - Kenny Loggins:

If Kenny Loggins was on tour and came through town, I think I WOULD make every effort to show up. I mean "Footloose", "Danger Zone", "I'm Alright", "This is It", etc...

The only thing better would be if Peter Cetera opened for him and sang "Glory of Love".

Oh wait, he IS touring... minor league baseball stadiums. Hell yes!

Rock This Town - Stray Cats:

Do you think Brian Setzer is okay with the fact that after making Big Band music relevant again for ohjustaboutthisverylongandnowthemomenthaspassed, now he's relegated to playing radio station New Year's Eve parties for the rest of his career? He was a rebel! Full-sleeve tattoos! Rockabilly Punk! And now, its nothing but bowties and tuxedos...

Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd:

Well, at least it's not the Kid Rock version that blasphemed both Skynyrd and Warren Zevon. What an abomination that was...

Friday, December 17, 2010


can be defined as doing something over and over, and expecting a different result.

Why don't we learn from our mistakes? Why do we put ourselves in the same position, and think its likely or even possible, that it will turn out differently?

We assume that people (both ourselves and others) will grow with knowledge, that we'll benefit from experience, and make smarter/better/more successful decisions based on that previous time going through it.


We put ourselves in the same stupid place, feeling the same hurt/shame/frustration/loneliness as we did the last time, and wondering how we could be so obtuse or delusional.

We take body shots and uppercuts and roundhouses that stagger us, knock us down, leave us breathless, and yet rather than throw in the towel, we get back off the mat and charge right back into it.

It's exhausting getting back up. Sometimes a loss just needs to be a loss. Sometimes you need to go home and lick your wounds. Somehow you need to stop the insanity.

I just wish I knew how...

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Just Call Me the Grinch

So not to get up on a soapbox, but I need to vent for a minute...

My love/hate history with the #1 shopping holiday of all time is well-documented in my family. Going back to Kindergarten, where I was briefly SUSPENDED for writing in my first journal at school, "I hate Santa Claus", I've always had a tough time accepting our culture's excessive preoccupation with all things Christmas, especially the early start of decorations/music/red&green (usually before Halloween).

But what really sets me off more than anything else about Christmas, is the presumption of my office buildings to set up their festive holiday decorations in our lobbies and common areas. I'm not talking about the generic "winter" decor... snowmen, holly, or poinsettias. Those are all great.

No, specifically I can't stand the 12 foot tall christmas tree and stacks of empty boxes wrapped in Santa paper and bows that I have to pass two to four times a day on my way to/from the parking garage. This isn't even a "bitter Jew" thing either. I don't particularly want them to display a menorah or blue/silver everywhere (for the record, they're not). It's the assumption that everyone celebrates Christmas and therefore wants to see the tree, presents, Santa, etc...

I would never presume that everyone celebrates the same holiday, or even follows a religion that celebrates a holiday at all. So why is it okay to push that decor in common areas that we all have to use? If a coworker wants to decorate her door or office, more power to her, that space is his/hers. But that lobby is used by Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Atheists, and countless other employees. We have 2,000 employees in our HQ building alone. I can't be the only one who feels like a plain "Winter Wonderland" display would be far more appropriate.

So ask you, my readers (if there are any of you left), am I grossly overreacting, or is it fair to assume that my place of employment should be more temperate and moderate in their pageantry?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

"Look Ma, No Hands"

Disclaimer: The content of this post may not be suitable for younger readers (then again, I did title this blog Bathroom Reading, so I guess it fits right in).

There is a British gent in my department here at work, who I encounter on occasion in the men's room. As I wash my hands and prepare to leave, I can't help but notice the fact that he "does his business" at the urinal, with both hands on his hips. Obviously this means he's relieving himself without ensuring a specific aim for his stream.

I'm not sure why this troubles me. I haven't gone to the effort of looking closer to see if he's just so well equipped that he doesn't need any control with his hands (nor am I about to start checking for that), but for some reason his lack of concern about the potential for hosing down the wall or his trousers for that matter makes me uncomfortable.

I'm pretty sure I've tried that move myself once or twice, and while no accidents occurred, the lack of a specific target definitely provided possible mistakes. And not to say I spend a lot of time checking out my urinal compatriots, but I definitely don't see a majority of men working without a safety net so to speak.

What makes this guy so pompous/confident/arrogant/carefree that he can just powerwash away with disregard to his backspray?

Men, am I just ignorant to think we should paying attention to how we paint the walls? Ladies, would you find this sort of devil-may-care approach attractive?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Happy Halloween

Halloween Costume ideas for the Halloween party I never knew I always wanted to go to...

Western/Denim Shirt backwards + leather skirt or jeans backwards + cowboy boots and hat = Reverse Cowgirl

Tool belt + Sex Toys + wrapping paper + bow = Stimulus Package

Lebron James or Brady Quinn Jersey + toy iron = Cleveland Steamer

Sombrero + mud on face and clothes + pencil thin mustache = Dirty Sanchez

Any other suggestions???