Adventures in Overstarched Tuxedos

So this weekend was the long-awaited jaunt to western PA for F's wedding. I wish I could entertain you with various stories highlighting the entire trip, but since you know none of the participants (including me), I'll just share a few key anecdotes:

1) The post-rehearsal dinner drive to the sketchiest bar I've ever been to in my life in Bentleyville, PA. I'm pretty sure I have more teeth than any 3 patrons put together...

2) My incessant cursing of whoever was foolish enough to invent the cravat style necktie, and how mine seemed to be one inch to short stay properly tucked in my vest, not to mention how hard and uncomfortable my rental tux was, causing major razor burn (see post title)...

3) Me turning to my best friend mid-ceremony, just before the eucharist, and saying "This is where I bring the whole service to a screeching halt." I was considering putting a yarmulke on right when the priest came over. Decorum prevaled though...

4) The bridal party's limo ride from ceremony to reception. 4 rum & cokes before the reception even starts, makes for a drunk groomsman...

5) The chapel choir came to the reception, specifically to welcome my boy F to the wonders of Steeler Nation. They had written a song glorifying the Super Bowl champs just for him. Naturally, I had to lead all DC residents in a rousing chorus of "Hail to the Redskins." No one messes with my team...

All in all, a good, although very drunk weekend... my boy was appreciative of my assistance (when sober), and although the drive sucked, no highway incidents of note. I'm actually sad to see it be over. Anyone want to invite me to another wedding? I look really good in a tux! ;)