The Checklist
A lot of my friends have lists of things they want to achieve by the time they reach X years old. Some of these lists are mental, some of these lists are actually written out and kept in a diary, or a desk drawer. Every time they achieve something on the list, they check it off, and feel a tremendous sense of worth I'm sure.
I never made one of those lists.
TLTL told me after we broke up that I lacked initiative. While she didn't feel I was lazy, she thought that I lacked a certain desire to go out and make things happen. I wonder if that's why I don't have a list.
I have a birthday coming up this month. It's not one of those "landmark" birthdays that should be causing a lot of angst or self-reflection, but recent events in my friends' lives have had me comparing a little more than I might normally. Of my closest three guy friends from high school, one has been married for a year, one is getting married this summer and just bought a house last month, and the other just finished law school last year and bought a house this month.
By contrast, I live in a group house, paying rent, with a freelance job that isn't a 40/hr a week position. I'm not in a long-term committed relationship, although I once was the first one who was, and the first one everyone thought would be married.
I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself, and I'm not even particularly unhappy. I have some great friends who care about me more than they care about themselves, family who would jump in front of a bullet to protect me, and let's face it, I'm not too hard on the eyes... (just seeing if you're still paying attention).
So as this birthday approaches, and it appears that I may not be heading to my favorite restaurant for the first time in five years, I have to remember that its not necessarily so important how quickly you get to major life landmarks; it is far more important to appreciate the ride along the way to them.
Here's to hoping this next year is a fun trip...
posted by J @ 6:07 PM
5 Comments:
All in due time, my friend. All in due time. You are absolutely right though . . . life is the journey not the destination. Because, when you think about it, the destination is death. And that's kind of sad.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday.
I have a list of 25 things to do before I die...some of them are trivial- like go on an upside down roller coaster (I wrote it when I was 15)...but some are more challenging and gratifying. Regardless, it makes me feel good when I accomplish them, no matter how ridiculous they are. You should do it, just for the sake of getting it all down in one place. Also, to quote the bestest movie ever, "The only thing you have to be by the age of 23 (or 28) is yourself." Lelaina Pierce, at her most profound.
I just had one of these "self-evaluation" moments too. I kinda came to the realization that it shouldn't matter what I've accomplished and not accomplished. These things don't really determine your worth, and they definitely don't equate happiness. If you are happy with yourself everything will fall into place in time. Have a good bday.
Don't measure out your life with coffee spoons (bonus points if you get this reference). But I know what you mean...I'll be 24 this month and I started to think about when I was in high school and sooo convinced that I had to be at LEAST engaged by 23 and start having kids at 25 ...but perhaps in an effort to make myself feel more accomplished or maybe because other people have tried to assure me that is really is more important to focus on my career right now neither of those things has happened. I'm not sure if that was supposed to make you feel better or not, but what I mean is that I know where you're coming from.
and who is this stalker person commenting on your blog... and how dare they steal quotes from my favorite movie (which btw is my namesake)
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