End of the Road

TLTL is leaving DC. She moves back to the city she left five years ago, because she was tired of a long-distance relationship., and wanted to see more of me. One more week and she's gone...

She and I don't hang out very often anymore, mainly because it is always going to be a bit awkward, and even if you're friends, one person treats each sentence or gesture a little more seriously than the other. We've found a fairly happy medium I thought, we can talk about who we're each dating, or why things go badly, and for the most part I think we take joy in each other's successes.

But I also know that I will always be the one who takes each sentence or gesture more seriously. It's been that way since it ended. I'm the one who sometimes can't see her for weeks or months at a time because she can still trigger emotions I thought I had laid to rest.

Nonetheless, I was determined I wanted to see her. One more dinner with friends joking, and care for our families, and reliving some of the happier moments we shared together. But she doesn't have time...

I'm invited to her farewell "party" at the local bar her last evening in town. But its not really a consolation. When I complained to her that I wouldn't get any of her time in her last week here, she asked what I would say there, that I couldn't say in the group farewell. There's no real answer to that question. It's not about what I want or need to say, its more just about sharing a final moment with someone who meant so much in the formation of your adult life, and not having the opportunity. She doesn't feel like we'll be missing anything. I guess I do...