Left Behind

I went to a wedding today... my best friend since seventh grade. I've watched him from the shy, awkward boy who was afraid of girls, to the confident, assertive man who went after what he wanted even when some of us told him it was a bad idea. Shows what we know, he married her...

Initially, there was a wedding party. I was a groomsman, but not the best man. Eventually, as plans changed, there was no more wedding party. Not even one attendant on each side. I didn't really realize that I had been replaced in his mind though, until I discovered that there were two other guys who had been asked to give toasts, and I was not. Similarly, during the reception itself, watching him work the room, it was clear that I was just another guest. I got no bonus time, no special photos to reflect the 16 years we've known each other.

I don't want to resent him for that, I want to be okay with it, and say "hey, relationships change, priorities change, I get that." But instead, I found myself walking away from the reception for a few minutes, needing to get my emotions under control... I hate being jealous, I hate feeling left behind.

So what now? What do you do, when you realize that the person who is most likely to be the best man at your own wedding (if and when it ever happens), acts as though you're just another friend of the family at his own nuptials? Do you let it go, and say, so be it? Do you try to replace him with someone who might appreciate your friendship more?

Maybe its all cyclical, and what went away, comes back in the end... that would be nice if it were true.