Nice Guys Don't Finish At All

People always want us to be more aggressive, more assertive, more proactive...

"Nice guys finish last."

"The early bird catches the worm."

"Only 303 more shopping days till Christmas."

I've never been good at it. As long as I think back, I'm so self-conscious about stepping on people's toes, pushing the wrong button, or upsetting the apple cart that I end up taking the path of least resistance and biding my time, assuming that in the end, my charm, looks, talent, and/or luck will win out.

It hasn't worked much in the last 29+ years, so I dont know why I'm so hesitant to change my approach. One of the things that I think comes from being an only child, is I never had to push anyone out of the way to get what I wanted. Either I did, or I didn't, but it wasn't because of a lack of effort. Now that goals and rewards are placed out in front of me with disturbing frequency, I assume that prizes should be given on merit and not on passion, which I believe are different and usually mutually exclusive.

But that doesn't seem to be the case much lately. People get rewarded for putting on a show, even if their results are misguided or wrong, and those of us who stay the course, are left off the medal stand, eating carryout Chinese on their own, and watching The Illusionist on HBO for the 9th time. (Still not as good as The Prestige...)

This Says So Much About Me...

me: did you figure out my toga yet for Saturday's party?

KB: hahaha
you need to tell me what kind of material we're working with!

me: i'm open to suggestions

KB: zebra print

me: sure?

KB: lol
nah, you're too classy
oh! we should find some sheets
i have scooby doo ones
you want those?
i mean, i don't personally
my cousins do
but i can steal them for a good cause
or like transformers
those would be cool
i was always jealous of my brother's transformers
barbie did NOTHING cool

me: scooby would be cool. it's too bad you dont have girl cousins. it would be way funnier if they were jem and the holograms or something

KB: hahahaha
i am fairly positive my mom still has NKOTB sheets from my heyday
but those would have been doubles
we need singles

me: haha

KB: and yes, you're absolutely right

me: jem was truly outrageous, truly truly truly outrageous

KB: oh my god
we were so meant to be friends
because i totally agree

me: either that or I'm flamingly gay since I know stuff like her normal alter ego was Jerrica

Unprofessionalism

I met with a recruiter yesterday, who found me on a generic job posting/resume site. He's been blowing up my email box for a few days now, with everything from compliments about how my resume stands out from the other 1,500 he's read recently, to his "interviewing tip guide" to emails telling me what to wear.

I appreciate his situation, after all, his livelihood is based on finding quality candidates who not only meet specific job listing criteria, but then have to impress potential employers enough to get hired... that being said, I find it unbelievably rude, that after having me choose the time of our appointment, and confirming it twice, he was still 40 minutes late to come out and meet me. I just sat there in front of the receptionist with a glass of water twiddling my thumbs. Once he brought me in, he asked me when our appointment was.

"11:00," I said.

"Good, then I'm not running late!"

I managed to stifle the fact that I found 11:50 to be late for an 11:00 meeting. Clearly I'm too nice. Anyway, the meeting was mostly productive, some of his suggestions are blatantly obvious to pretty much anyone who's ever applied for a job. Some of them are useful enough to help shape my responses to typical questions I'll probably be getting in the near future. He seems convinced that I'm a perfect fit for one particular job he is trying to fill, so we'll see where that goes.

The drawback is I felt I had to lie about one piece of my background. Past readers will remember the drama of 2 years ago and my employment situation, but I can't always bring myself to advertise that I was dismissed from a prior position. I've spent so much time with my revisionist answer about moving on to escape an oppressive office culture, that I almost believe it at this point. Hopefully that fib won't come back to bite me.

Sorry I haven't been writing, to those limited few of you who occasionally check up on me. Life has changed a bit the last few months, and I've been pretty blocked up creatively. I'll try to keep you all abreast of the changes, and perhaps keeping a pseudo-diary of this process will open me up a little.

If there's anything you think I should be reporting on, let me know. Happy to oblige!